Ok… so a few weeks ago, Drake was on Saturday Night Live, and while he didn’t perform in many sketches, he did have the most FANTASTIC musical number with Jay Pharoah during the Weekend Update.  Drake and Pharoah appeared as “Two Teenagers Dressed as Werewolves” and proceeded to tell Seth Meyers about their new favorite Halloween tradition, “Bag Jackin’.”

The only link I can find that includes the entire rap doesn’t have the video, so you’ll have to use your imagination and combine the photo above, the music at this link, and the lyrics below for the full effect — or download the episode illegally, not that I condone that sort of thing.

Definitely not the sort of Halloween message I usually send out, but the lyrics are pretty genius and Drake is pretty hot — Yes, in this instance it would appear that I’m THAT girl. Ha ha ha.

So, until someone gets all “copyright infringement” on me, enjoy this little nugget of Halloween awesomeness!  Though, please don’t be a jerk and go steal bags of candy from children… or if you do, don’t tell them that I gave you the idea.

Without further ado, behold the lyrics to Bag Jackin’:

“It’s 7:58 and now your curfew is pushin’…
Watch out, ‘cause like Republicans I’m behind the bushes.

“It wasn’t me!” If you ask me, that’s what I’ma tell ya,
And I’ma eat so much chocolate, my blood type’s Nutella.

Got warning signs from mad parents and state troopers, 
Kidnap Willy Wonka and bitch slap the Oompa Loompas.

We need your Reese’s Pieces, give me your Hershey Bar,
I want your Milky Way, give me that Snickers Bar.

I would trick or treat, but I’m too old now,
So I snatch your bag so I don’t look like a pedophile.

My sticky fingers got all these mothers mad at me.
We’re talking stomachaches, restraining orders, cavities.

I probably won’t have no teeth left when I finish,
I don’t pay for the porcelains, I just marry my dentist.

We’ll take your whole bag of candy, leave you in the cold,
So bring them Rockets if you’re under twelve years old.”

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!